1st Rule of Relationships



Hi this is Christy Whitman with the Quantum Success Show where you can get your information and inspiration to create your desires and I am back with Karen Lamarck Wilson today, so I’m really, really excited. We’re going to talk about in a two-part series the rules of relationships.

1st Rule of Relationships

The first rule and the second rule, So today were going to talk about the first rule. So Karen welcome back, I know that one of the things that has been really impactful in my life and especially my relationship, which really impacts everything.

It affects my children, it affects obviously my relationship with my husband, it affects me. And one thing that most people don’t talk about or know are this rule of relationships-  So in the two-part series that we are going to be doing right now, today we’re talking about the first rule of relationships.

So can you describe that? Why it’s important? What it is?… Yes, absolutely. First thank you for having me with you again, I want to set off the top. Thank you, Oh this is a big win.


Since people who watch you know that everything is vibration. All vibration carries information; Learning how to extract that information is the real key in the relationship with our self, in a relationship with all that is and through that the relationship with others.

Whether it’s the earth, a man, woman, child, parent, a neighbor, a colleague… That being said this principle… It is almost a universal principle when you look at it that big, and on a one-to-one human – it becomes more rule and we teach people, we teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and their presence. And every piece of that… So I spoke at that way is just as important as any other piece. Just remembering that we are actually teaching all the time A lot of times we are not conscious of that which is true but we are teaching all the time.

We get treated by people just as we treat ourselves

Why we say, what we do, how we act, the choices we make. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and their presence. So if I’m putting myself down all the time… Oh God I’m so fat… Oh geez I wish I was taller, Everyone’s taller Everyone seems to get it, whatever it is and I’m not getting it.

What we teach flows, radiates out of us and especially in our language – Body language, voice language, literal words – those little packets of power that come out of our body. And so really recognizing that this is going on all the time and it’s not so much that we are trying to manipulate how other people think about us. We want them to think this so we don’t say that.

It’s not that editing, censoring process that can go on. It is just knowing, really knowing that the way we relate… This is the 1st rule of relationships, the way we relate with our self, the big S, our soul, our spirit, the Source… Thus self: The way that relationship lives in us comes through us and through that radiation, through that everyday living our relationship with our self we are teaching people how we treat ourselves.


And you can extrapolate that what we respond to… What is important to us? What is valuable to us? How we spend our time… What are humor is… Where our interests are and Where our limits and our edges are.

There’s so much that goes on in this first rule, this first major principle of relationship. That we teach other people how to teach us, not by some list or code or idea or tradition. Literally by the way we treat ourselves or relate to ourselves while we are with them It takes that big effort in trying to be somebody. You want to see us be a certain way. They’ll falls away and we are right here We are right here Beautiful… So can I be vulnerable? Bring something up and see how that affects like what you’re talking about? Absolutely.

The other night… You know we spent three almost 3 months in Arizona with lots of eating out and you know not sticking to the normal way we typically eat; so I was saying to my husband, Frederick less I Look at my stomach is a little more jiggly the normal. And he being that man that he is – You look great baby you know, and we have been eating and a lot of restaurants and we have been having some white here there more so than we normally wed and were kind of on a vacation. Okay so I don’t look like I’ve gained weight and Alex turns to me and goes yeah, you do.

Obey the laws of Attraction

So in this situation what am I teaching by saying that? Because typically I don’t talk about myself that way in front of my husband. You know I know better over the years; First of all I want to have a positive outlook about my body, I want to feel how I want to look and the whole thing of law of attraction I want to stay in the… and feel the body want to have.

But it was one of those human moments where I just went in know well I think I’ve got a little belly thing going on here. So what does that say? What does that say to my husband, what does that say to Alex? So I’ve got a feeling that you know So are you wanting me to give you an answer are you wanting me to help… Yes I want you to help me help show how this works that it as an example Even as you’re talking what you are wanting is some comfort What you’re wanting was some… Sometimes we sort of validation and not some of them away

So real validation is to come from inside If we are always looking if our focus of control is outside of ourselves as 10 people and you will get to different answers This was sure has been you’re asking and it was sort of an intimate thing you are also very honest… That is vulnerable for us to say look at this…so our look at this one… look at these what do you think? What you’re wanting was support, friendship, kindness, and what you received were those very things from your partner which you can allow to be a reflection and buoy you up inside so that you can say yeah that’s what I was thinking I’m all right with a little jiggly I’m okay so that you can hear the comfort and support that was really in your question to your intimate partner.

Allow your partner to understand you

So it was really the question to yourself and the more we enter intimacy, long-term intimate committed relationship… However we labeled us – That kind of communication literally creates to you and hear this… I’m going on… There are two energetic constructs begin happen out of this first role of relationships. In your example the first thing it becomes like a figure 8 it’s coming out of you. It may have sounded like it was just coming off the top of your head but it wasn’t, Yes… You lead with vulnerable so okay so what happens is you get up our out to him and what came back to you was a mirror.

Remember this is a man you spent a lot of time with, so he’s also knows what you’re wanting and needing. You have taught him well, It’s not training like a dog strange but it is a relationship. You taught him over time what’s meaningful to you.

What’s important to you? What you heard was I love you anyway, I love you no matter… Which is what you taught him, so in that moment if it’s possible for you, you can say you know what I am fine we are kind of on a vacation; we are experimenting here living differently than we usually do. I’m okay… So is a figure 8 and then the more intimacy over time what happens is and this is part of Valentine’s Day there is a little pink, that shows up between and around two people. Those are two people facing each other. Is that shape and we make at the shape it’s really what happens between two people.

This really can come out of understanding and spending time and honoring the first rule of relationships.

Summary of the 1st Rule of relationships

We treat ourselves to as well as other people how to treat us and we teach ourselves how to treat ourselves. And basically we are teaching them how to treat ourselves based on how we treat ourselves Bingo… Yes Always starting with our own relationship first always, always.

We can try to circumvent it but it doesn’t work, so we might as well just get it and go there and enjoy the process enjoy yourself and your relationship with yourself. Absolutely, Well, thank you so much I’m so enjoying the rules of relationships.

I’m glad I brought up an example just a kind of show how that relates in everyday life. So thank you so much for that Karen You are so welcome So next week we are going to go to the rules of relationships number two so we will see you next time So thank you so much for watching I hope this information has been impactful to you in some way and improve your relationships

Please do me a favor and leave me a comment. Let’s continue the conversation I want to know how this information has impacted you. What you’re taking away, and what you’re going to move forward with into the future.

And if you haven’t done so already, please go to ChristyWhitmancom Sign up for newsletters where you can get so much other information to help you create the life you truly desire. Remember the universe is friendly and is always supporting your highest good.

Read also: Why most relationships fail

Source: Youtube


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