LOVE LANGUAGES: WHY YOUR LOVE LIFE IS STRUGGLING
Hi everybody! Welcome to another Cup of Khafi. Today’s video I am going to be telling you why your love life is struggling.
(Why Relationships Fail) Some people may be a bit offended by this video. I’m not doing this to offend anybody. It doesn’t matter whether you are single, whether you are in a relationship, whatever. To some extent everyone is struggling with their love life.
Because you speak one love language:
I’m going to tell you why. The reason that you are struggling with your love life is because you only speak one language.
Those who know me know that I speak five languages; I speak French, Italian, Yoruba, English and British Sign Language. Some people think that French is quite a romantic language, no matter what you are saying: Mon amour je voudrais manger des frites avec toi. Or some people think Italian is quite a sexy language, again no matter what you are saying: Amore mio voglio andare al bagno. But, you’ll be pleased to know I’m not talking about those kind of languages. The reason your love life is struggling is because you only speak one love language.
There are five different love languages
What are they?
Number 1 – Words of Affirmation
People who speak this love language they want to be told that they are loved, they want to hear positive things about themselves. They want compliments, they give compliments. They show their love by saying I love you, by encouraging their loved ones Telling them “Oh my gosh you look beautiful today” Complimenting them on the smallest things. They love expressing themselves verbally and in a positive, loving way.
Number 2 – Spending Quality Time: People who speak this love language love to spend time with people. They express their love by spending time, they feel like, I’ve got so little time in this world, if I choose to spend my time with you, then you better know that I love you okay? You better know that I love you.
They want to go out places and do special things together and just spend quality time together. It may not even be going out anywhere it may just be staying at home, watching a movie together Being with the person and people they love, that’s how they express their love.
Number 3 – Gifts: This is not about materialism, but the people who express their love through gifts, show their love through buying them something.
They may just be out and see something that reminds them of the person they love, and they just say “aw that reminds me of [Insert Name Here], let me just buy this thing. It may not even be something that they’ve bought, they may make something and want to show that love by saying “oh look I made this for you” They give things because that’s how they express their love.
Number 4 – Acts of Service: This kind of person will do anything for you, they express their love by doing things. They might wash up the dishes, they might mow the lawn. You need something fixed, they will go and fix it for you. They do things for you It may be that you’re like “ah I’m really tired but I need to do this.
” They say “Oh don’t worry I’ll do it for you” That is how they express their love and that is how they also receive love.
Number 5 – Physical Touch: Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves, this is not necessarily sex, it might be a pat on the back when you’ve done a good job, holding hands, hugs, high fives, kisses. Whatever it may be they love to express their love for somebody through physical touch.
Summary of the five love languages
So those are the five love languages.
Words of affirmation, spending quality time, gifts, acts of service and finally, touch A lot of us only speak one love language, we only identify most with one of these love languages. But for many of us, the people in our lives whether it’s our family, whether it’s our special other, they speak a different love language to us.
Partners who speak different love languages are bound to argue
This is why a lot of the time in relationships you hear somebody say “you never spend any time with me, we never do anything together, we never blah blah blah” And the other person is like: “I just bought you a new watch, I just bought you something the other day, I just bought you a new car for goodness sake, what do you mean I don’t love you?” That’s because they are speaking different love languages So the reason that a lot of people are struggling (and why relationships fail) is because we’re not speaking each other’s love languages.
I’m not saying we should not speak ours, but I’m saying get to know the people that are around you whether it’s your family, whether it’s your brother, your sister, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your husband, your wife, your fiancé.
And every now and again, speak their love language Every now and again buy them a gift if their love language is gifts Every now and again, say you’re beautiful, say I love you to them if their thing is words of affirmation If their thing is acts of service, do something for them unexpected, just do them a favour.
Things like that, even though it may not be our love language, every now and again we should speak the love language of those near us. I hope you guys enjoyed this video, please comment like and *share* I hope you found this really useful If you guys want to know more about love languages check out the book by Gary Chapman, it explains it and goes into much more depth.
I just think it’s a really amazing concept So show some love today, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or not, just show some people some love. Speak all the different love languages we can, Have a great rest of your week and I’ll be back with another video. Until then peace!Love you! You’re just my cup of tea 😉