Why Are Relationships So Difficult?
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Short & Sweet: Why Are Relationships So Difficult? Hello This is Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman of the Jewish Executive Learning Network
And in today’s short and sweet clip, what I’d like to share with you is some feedback to a very common question I receive And that is how do I deal with the difficult people in my life? Specifically a lot of people, a lot of us, have people that we interact with – it could be a relative, it could be a neighbor, it could be an in law, it could be an ex-husband – a lot of people that we try to make things work with them.
We want to have a relationship, we want to be friendly, we want things to flow, we want to have a kesher, we want to have a connection and it’s very hard. They don’t seem to want it, what do I do? How do I make it work? Is there anything I could do? It’s a weight on my heart, some people say What do I think? So let me tell you what I share with them.
Why are Relationships so Difficult?
Simple rule, simple idea I often tell people a relationship is only as strong as the party who wants it the least I’ll repeat that again. A relationship is only as strong as the party who wants it the least. Meaning, let’s say there’s somebody and you want to have a relationship with them.
It could be a love relationship, a parental relationship, a familial, a neighbor, something It could be even a big Rabbi that you want to get to know him and learn Torah from him and that’s the relationship you want. Any relationship, I don’t mean romantic per say -Relationships only as strong as the one who wants it the least.
A RELATIONSHIP IS AS STRONG AS THE PARTNER THAT WANTS IT THE LEAST
If you want it let’s say from one to ten, one being the least, ten being the most, you want that relationship with that person at level eight, and they only want it at level three, how strong is the relationship? The relationship is level three. It’s not going to be eight. Certainly not going to be more; because you could want, want, want to be close with somebody and connect with somebody and share with somebody, if they don’t want it with you, they’re the ones who are going to define the strength of the relationship or the lack there of. In other words, it’s another way of saying that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
How to react when you face rejection in a relationship
So I want to share this idea with you today and empower you to understand, don’t take it many times so personally and take it to heart. Sometimes there are people who do not want to have a relationship with you. Either they don’t want to, or they can’t, or they have their own stuff going on, or their own problems, or they’re just overwhelmed or swamped or they have their own issues. Whatever it may be, Understand, don’t feel a pressure and say, what am I doing wrong? How do I get through to this person?
GIVE NO ROOM TO PRESSURE
I got to be honest, there’s some people you can’t really get through to them and you can’t upgrade the relationship and make it bigger and better and more because they don’t want it.
So there’s a lot of things you could do many times to bring that about, to make it the way you want but there’s times you can’t and you have to have wisdom to accept that. The relationship cannot be stronger than the other party wants it to be. It cannot be deeper, more, closer in any fashion if the other party doesn’t want.
So that’s the idea I wanted to share with you today. Hope you enjoyed today’s clip on why relationships are so difficult.
This is Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman of the Jewish Executive Learning Network. Please subscribe to my channel on YouTube so you could get one of these videos every single day. Also follow classes on Torah Anytime and I’ll see you the next time. Thanks.