Why do relationships break up? In this video, I’m sharing with you seven common relationship killers that you need to be aware of, keep watching.
Introduction: Why do relationships break up?
Hey everyone, I’m Carlos Cavazos – I’m a licensed therapist and if you want to improve your relationship, sex life and communication – Subscribe to this channel and hit that little bell So you’re notified when I upload a video or go live to all my subscribers? Welcome back and know that I appreciate every single one of you today.
Why Relationships break up
You will learn a seven things that are poisonous to your relationship. Awareness of these things will help you identify and address any issue that may be threatening the health of your relationship before it’s too late. So let’s get started:
- Unsatisfying boring and frequent or non-existent sex: will create a host of problems. People need a fuel wanted desired fulfilled by their partner. A satisfying sex life adds a sense of intimacy, happiness and playfulness to a relationship. Without it we feel frustrated, unhappy, bored, resentful and insecure. I mean; Let’s just be real here, an unsatisfying sex life opens the door for anyone in the relationship to seek some fulfillment elsewhere.
So come together and work on increasing that sexual satisfaction, if you need some tips on how to talk to your partner about an unsatisfying sex life. I made a video just on that topic which I will link above and below. Now where people have been together for a long period of time, it’s perfectly normal for the frequency of sex to decrease.
However, I always advise my clients – Don’t let more than three weeks pass by without any kind of sexual activity happening in the relationship. If it’s been about two weeks – you’re your good, you’re in the green. If it’s been three weeks, yellow – use caution and if it’s been four or more weeks then you in the danger zone. If not address of those dry spells can very easily keep getting longer and longer and you can start running into other problems like growing apart Insecurity and maybe even infidelity.
Keep in mind though; You don’t want things to get predictable routine or mundane. Sexy about that, so switch things up and make some things exciting. There are exceptions to this like a mutual lack of interest in sex, medical problems among others.
One thing to remember is that an unsatisfying sex life may not just cause problems, But it could also be a symptom of other problems So ask yourself is The sex the problem in the relationship or are other problems affecting our sex life.
- Financial problems: can be overwhelming to anyone, but they can be downright deadly to relationships. Disagreements on handling finances, keeping financial secrets, thinking of a partner’s financial habits as character traits, controlling finances and blaming the other person for financial circumstances can wreak havoc to a relationship.
Communicating compromise on financial matters especially your their shared, if at any point you feel that is separating finances might say to the relationship then talk to your partner or partners about it and reach a compromise before you and your relationship break up.
- Effective communication: in general is so important that I discuss it with every single one of my clients. This is particularly important and medias them and open relationships. It is crucial to developing and maintaining deep and meaningful relationships and helps turns fights and arguments into discussions and conversations. What I also like about it is that it avoids misunderstandings. That a lot of the times trigger those fights to begin with when done correctly.
Everyone will be on the same page to what was discussed and there will be a preliminary resolution and next steps and virtually no gray area. When working with my clients I always ask; What was the exact outcome of that conversation and what was a preliminary? Resolution and you agreed upon next steps and they can answer that question. I know they implemented those communication skills that I taught them If not, we keep working on commune Kayson style and technique I will be making a whole series of videos on effective communication.
- Adopt Clarity
So make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out but I will leave you guys with a quick tip. Just the tip you guys can start implementing right away and that Is repeat back and confirm everything that you hear. This will ensure that you’re actually listening and not thinking about whatever comeback or clap back or rebuttal that you’re cooking up in your head It also lets a person hear back what you heard and either confirm or clarify.
For example, if someone says ‘Leave I never want to see you again’, in that particular case – you would repeat back what you heard; ‘So you want me to leave because you never want to see me again’? At that point, that person will hear back what you heard and they’ll either confirm or clarify, so they can either say yes leave I never want to see you again, Or they will clarify ‘I just need a few days to clear my head’ or ‘Why don’t you give me a call next week’
A healthy, strong and secure relationship is one in which two or more people can stand independently on their own two feet and come together. You can’t depend on your relationship to be everything for you. That’s bad for you and unfair to your partner when someone needs to be continuously propped up by their partner. That could become extremely tiresome and taxing on the other individual and eventually all that pressure will cause a relationship to collapse.
- A person should add Value to your life not be your life
Each person should have their own independent life and support system separate from the relationship, also consider this: if a person is everything in your life and for whatever reason that relationship doesn’t work out, and what are you left with? Nothing. Co-dependency can also be a sign of poor self esteem, which will create conflicts raging from constantly needing to be reassured, jealousy not feeling secure in the Relationship and constantly obsessing that your partner may be trying to leave you or trying to cheat.
- Insecurity and cheating
So there are some insecurity issues in the relationship. Start addressing those issues and get some of that confidence back. Confidence is sexy and people are attracted to that. Contrary to popular belief, cheating is not one of the top reasons why people break up – a lot of relationships are actually able to work through that infidelity and a lot of the times will be a lot stronger afterwards, but cheating can create a lot of Complications and cracks in the foundation of the relationship which will sabotage the relationship if not addressed.
This includes things like distrust, hyper-vigilance, resentment or even sex problems? I actually did a video where I answer some of the most common questions I get in regards to cheating. So I will link that above and below in case you guys want to check that out when one person calls all the shots in the relationship and becomes really controlling and things can get real and healthy real quick.
If you have to ask for permission to hang out with friends, go visit family or get some money out of your own bank account. There’s a problem and anytime there’s a huge balance of power in a relationship, things can get really chaotic the person in power may get so comfortable that they stop tending to their partner’s need as much as needed. Or in worst cases can even become abusive.
Someone on the other side of the equation can even get to a point where they’re too scared to verbalize their own needs or concerns. And eventually there is only so much a person can take before they need to break up and liberate themselves.
Now in BDSM Relationships; this topic is a little more complicated. So I will save that for another video.
- Change: The final reason why people break up is a little different from the rest, but still one I thought would be worth noting in this video because I see it a lot and that is people growing apart and heading in different life paths. Change is inevitable and individual as time goes by our experiences change and shape the way that we think, feel and see the world. Sometimes this change results and people just not fitting together as well as they once did and that’s okay.
It’s better to cherish what you once had and move on, then try to force something to work. That simply doesn’t work anymore creating a lot of negative experiences that overshadow and pollute the memory of what you guys once had. So there you have it seven common things that can break up relationships Remember we are at our best when the relationships that are important to us are happy and healthy And there is no better time like today to start working towards repairing or improving those relationships that matter the most to us. Thank you guys so much for watching I want to hear from you guys Do you have anything you want to know more about any questions for me any tips for me? You can send them my way by leaving a comment down below Tweeting me and counselling by CC or sending me a message on my website at wwlp.com. If you like this video make sure to hit like and subscribe until next time.